Sian

I have been so slack in updating lately. Was so busy caught out by work, study and what's next after i quit! There is just so much on my mind.
Last friday, I bang my car in um carpark. I don't know why I was so careless, my mind was just so blank when it happen. ANd that cost me RM500, all the left front light is all gone and the car is still in the workshoptill today. So "sian" I am!

Changes

They say the only constant in life is change. Even though i know it but when is time to change, it can be so tough at time!
I am making a major change today by putting in my resignation letter. I have been working in the college as a counsellor for the past eight years and making the decision to move on is not an easy one. I don't know what I will be doing next after quiting here. Hubby say to concentrate on my PhD and maybe do a bit of part time.
Letter has been typed and signed, waiting to be sent in to the relevant people and I am moving on. What comes next I really don't know but I know the God who hold my tomorrow. So I guess with that knowledge, I can step out in faith!

Walk by Faith

Last nite, the people from 生命之路came from Sibu to share on how they started their evangelistic trust and how God told him that to do God's work, one must not based on man own understanding but must be based on what need to be done for the kingdom of GOd. don't let the financial resource constraint what one need to do. he was sharing how when there is only RM3,000 in his account when the need for that moment is to produce CD worth RM16,000. He obeyed God's prompting and went ahead to get the CD and started distribution. when they finished distributing, the money also came in for them to oay off the debt. He challenge us to step out to experience God.
For the last two months, hubby and I have been talking about me quitting my full time job as Counsellor and maybe to concentrate on my studies and maybe just do some part time teaching. I have been struggling with it for the longest time, wondering how we can manage with all the rising cost. Hubby assured me that we will be ok but still I am kind of worried.
But since Wednesday, I have been seriously thinking about leaving. Originally I was thinking of leaving only after i am sure I can get the scholarship but now, it seem like is time to leave. I felt i really should move on and allow God to lead my next step.
As I look back, when I resigned from church in 2004, I also had no where to go but God provided the job at just the right time. So I think I should just step out by faith again as HE knows what's best for me.

Working's Mum Dream

Qi Ning have been requesting that I work on alternate day. Last night I was asking her why she want mummy to be home all day. Guess what is her answer? Her answer was "i loves you" heart also melted after hearing her answer!
So i am working hard to get a scholarship from the University. Just saw the advertisement on Monday where UM is giving out scholarship for full time post graduate study. If I can get the scholarship then I will quit my job and be a full time student. Then I think I can be home at alternate day as requested by Qi Ning if not more.
I told her about the scholarship application and she has been asking me if I have got the scholarship almost everyday. How i wish is so simple, apply and know the result immediately. I am so tempted to quit my job but can't if i don't get the scholarship. The closing date for the scholarship application is next friday. They told me they will atke about 1-2 mths to process the application and if i don't hear form them within 6 mths that means no hope liao. So is still a long process of waiting and dreaming about getting the scholarship!
How' nice it would be if I do get it then I can have more time for my girls.

Snap shot of my girls

Long time didn't post any photos of my girl, here are another two recent photos of my precious darlings. Qi Yu is now 21 mths old and she is chatter box at home but as quiet as a mouse when there is any unfamiliar faces around her. She can sings many many songs and attempting to do self care task such as dressing and wearing shoes and sock by herself now.
Still not much hair but is growing. after the milkstrike, I thought I could wean her off totally from my breast but she is fighting for her right. So she is now back to nursing on demand!
Qi Ning is growing up fast as well. Even though she is not attending kiddie yet but she can write her own name now. She was proudly showing it to us this morning. She always tell us she don't want to go to school as she want home schooling!
Qi ning is quite independent now as she can do most of the self care task by herself, like changing her dress, tying her hair(of course not as tidy), putting on sock and shoes for herself. She liks to help up with the house hold chores whenever she is in the mood. Nowadays she will make her request known to us as to what she want for her birthday etc. She is a sociable girl who is always inviting friends to come over to her house!
Life is fun with two girls!

Bikers

It seems like this is a seoson for cycling. The children in my neighborhood are cycling and my Qi Ning caught on the fever and my baby girl also want to cycle. Luckily, we have two bicycle at home so each girl can have one to themselve.

These photos were taken on Saturday at a playground near my house. The first photo is that of my two girls and their favourite play mates from the neighbourhoodSuanne and Julian. Qi Ning can manage the bicycle by herself as the training wheel is attached while Qi Yu still don't really know how to peddle yet. She just put her feet on the peddle for show. But she enjoys sitting on the bike and having me pushing her from the back as if she is carrying me on her bicycle. She seems to like the idea that she is big enough to be carrying mummy around on her bicycle!

On strike

For the past two days, Qi Yu goes on milk strike. She refuse to drink powder milk as well as breast milk. Her usual quest to be nurse at night also stop! Even though I have stopped expressing milk at work, each day when i reach home after work, her first request is "Mummy, I want nen nen." But this request stopped two days ago. And ecah night before she sleep she will request for her fix as well and in the middle of night, she sometime will request for comfort nursing. But all these stops in the last two days!
She had fever on Monday and then go on strike Tuesday. She is drooling a lots, maybe she is teething again. Also because we had too much of a durian feast lately, so everyone is down. Qi Ning was also not well and mummy too.
From the strike, I think I am going to wean her off the breast permanently now. At first I thought it would be difficult to wean her off the breast because before the stike, any mention of weaning her off the breast will bring about a big fight from her. Now with the strike on, even when I offer her she would say "NO". Looks like mummy is going to have a breeze again in weaning my girl off the breast! :) But I do hope she won't goes on the milk strike for too long. Will need to ask her jiejie to persuade her to drink cow milk as she likes to follows her jiejie!

After 30 months....

Yes, is about 30months liao, my good friend didn't visit me and yesterday she came by. It has been 30months that I have enjoyed without the monthly period pain or discomfort that goes with it. but now it has return with a vergence. Yesterday was the first day and I had bad headache, today is the second day and I am having period pain.
After so long, i sort of forget what it is to have menses, now I am feeling it all over, don't know whether should celebrate or what. Hubby said is good isn't it, is normal to have mense!

Two months more...

In another two months time, Qi Ning will be turning four, how time flies. My girl is a big girl now. She can do most of the self care tasks by herself now. She can change her own clothing, tie her own hair, wear her own shoe with sock, brush her own teeth and feed herself. There will be time when she would want to "manja" mummy and want mummy to feed her. I try as much as I can to encourage her to be independent. Overall, she managed all the self care task quite well.
Qi Ning is a sociable girl and she loves to invite people to come to her house for visit. She loves to play with other children who are slightly older then her. She can play badminton quite well and the other day, she was teaching a girl who is 7 year old how to serve a ball! I was having a good laugh observing how she was showing her new found friend at the play ground how to play badminton! she seems to like to be a teacher, I guess that give her a sense of control.
She loves durian, this durian season, she really get to eat lots of durian especailly this few days. I think she is like mummy, loves to eat and can really eat. So I have to always remind her not to overeat.
Two more months to her 4 year old birthday and she has been reminding mummy to buy her birthday present. Mummy has to really look around for a present for her, if not she would be disappointed. But with kids, I think whatever present given with love, would be apprecaited, so i don't have to worry about the price tag yet! :)





She is

New journey

Last week the semester at UM started and that mark the beginning of my PhD journey. I finally decided to plunge in to take the challenge. It was a stressful week to begins with as there were so many thought going thru my mind. To study or not, to teach or not, how many classes to take, what subject to take, to resign or continue working . etc , it was so stressful.
My Prof. told me to apply for tutotship in UM and offer me to teach one subject in UM. I applied for the tutorship, no news yet but I am tecahing one class. He asked me if I wnat to tecah another class, after consideration and making all the necessary arrangement I say yes. Then was told that due to some techinical limitation on the amount a part time lecturer can claim, only claim a maximum of RM9000 per semester, I am not able to take two class. Now I have to reschudule my class and everything. So upset with them for messing around with my schedule! And even though I have registered as student, I can only starts to borrow libary book one month later, how inefficient! Only consolation I have is that I get a staff parking after paying a RM20 deposit so I don't need to fight for parking space as I can park at the designated area for staffs.
There are no answer to all the questions I have but at least I am more settled now, knowing that I can only teach one class, take two subjects. Still need to change the class time with my students. They probably think that I am frickle minded but I have no choice. So wish my all the best as i goes on this new journey!

Twenty Months

Qi Yu is twenty months old today. Gosh the time just flies. She is one sweet darling to behold. At twenty months, she can sing and talk very well. But she will only sing to her family members i.e mummy, papa n jie jie. She won't sing to other poeple. still very shy and cling to mummy a lot.
Now she want to dress herself and will want to choose her own outfit. She would be very happy if she can successfully pull down her panty and sit at the potty by herself. She is toilet trained for the day time.
The growing sense of independence is getting stronger nowadays, she will exert her right by saying "this is Qi Yu" and push you away if you try to impose on her. When you ask her something and she don't want to answer, she would say "I don't know." And she know how to use the word because. She has got quite a good sense of comprehension. When ask her the who, what and why questions from the story books, she could answer quite well.
Still want to nurse to sleep and throughtout the night. This is one habit that mummy is trying to break but find it a battle.
Such joy to have her!

Milk Powder

With the recent increases in all sort of things, milk powder has also increases. Good for those of us who are breastfeeding, we saved quite a lot on milk powder. But there will be a time when breastfeding stop and we need to buy milk powder.
I breastfed Qi Ning till she was about 20months then I swiatch her to formula as I was few month into pregnancy. I am still breastfeeding Qi Yu who's gonna be 20mths soon and I am thinking of weaning her off my breast. I am tired of expressing milk when at work, mummy is getting lazy. So I was browsing through the prices of different brands of milk powder and talking to different mummy about the type of milk powder they give to their kids. Many try to give the best as claim by the advertiser. Those with all the DHA, AHA lah whatever knot being added to the formula so that the child will be cleverer by taking that formula. When I looked at the prices different between those which supposed to make the child cleverer, it is almost 3x more expensive.
For Qi Ning, when I wean her off my breast, I was fortunate to have the formula supplied to me via my SIL. So I didn't mind whatever brand as it was one of those that claim to have all the important ingredients to make the child cleverer. Later when the supply discontinue I just buy for her whatever that is cheapest on the supermarket shell. Sometime is Dumex, sometime is DutchLady.
Now that I am thinking of weaning Qi Yu, I am thinking of giving her the same milk powder that I give to Qi Ning. But then there is this nagging thought of if I have given my children the best in their growing up years in term of the kind of formula milk that I choose? I think the advertisers is feeding on this kind of fear that parents might have.
So shall I just give them the cheaper version of the milk powder or should I go for the branded milk powder which is 3x more expensive? Will they will less developed mentally just because i didn't buy them the 3x more expensive milk powder? Hopefully not! Looking at my girls at the moment they are growing up very well and are achieving their developmental milestones spot on! But being a mum, the nagging fear is still there, what if I miss giving my girls the best nutritions (aka milk powder) that they need to help their brain to develop in the early year! But I can rest a bit because I breastfed both of them for as long as I can!

Saturday Excursion

When we were young, we go places via public transport aka bus. But nowaday, almost every household have cars so travelling on bus become a novelty. Qi ning has requested to go on bus for a couple of time since last year. So on Saturday, we took a bus ride down to cnetral market. The two girls enjoyed the ride very much and Qi ning wanted to requested to go on another bus ride on Sunday!
I haven't gone on the bus ride for soooo long myself. If given a choice I prefer the comfort of private car. It took more than an hour from Puchong to Cnetral market and the stop and move cause me headache. But it is all worth all since the gilrs enjoyed it. Is an experience for them. MAybe when Qi Yu is bit older we will have another go at taking bus down town.

Hospitality

Qi Ning loves loves to have visitors. Very often she would ask why isn't so and so visiting us and ask if we could get her cousins to come to her house.
Last night, one of the church friend came for a visit. She was very happy. After greeting the guest, she went to the kitchen. I was wondering what she wants to do. I saw her pulling a chair and climb up to take a cup and starts pouring water. At first I thought she wanted to have a drink of water. Only later I found out that she wanna served the guest!
My maid was telling me that if there were visitors, Qi Ning would tell her to serve drinks, I guess now instead of asking the maid, she decides that she is big enough to do the serving herself! My girl is growing up.

Catching up

Yesterday was an extra ordinary day for me. A very good friend of mine whom I have not seen for almost two years now came to meet me for lunch at my office. Then another two very good friends of mine who was my ex-colleague & exstudent came to my office and suprise me with an early birthday celebration with cake from Secret recipe! She stays in Melaka and since she was coming this way, she wanna surprise me. Indeed I was very touch by their visits.
Today, another of my old friend called and we had a good chat as well.
Sometime life gets so busy till we forget to be in touch. I do hope to touch base with all my friends from time to time. I thank God for all the good friends that He has blessed me with. ANd now, with the blog, I am also blessed with all the kind bloggers who leaves encouraging comment on my blogs, I am so apprecaitive of you as well all my blogger friends! I am catching up on reading all your blogs as well. So this seem to be a season of catching up for me. hehehe

Changes

Someone say the only thing that is constant is "change". I think with the increase in fuel prices, many changes will have to take place for income earners! For a start, I have slow down my speed since I was told that driving at 80-90km/h is most fuel economical. Heehehe, i feel like an old lady driving when I am driving at such speed where I used to go at 100-120km/hr. We also try not to swich on the air-con at home so often. Use to have it on for the whole night.
Have been feeling so comfortable at my currently work place even though it is far from my home, I still hardly consider looking for a job nearer to home . I stay in Puchong but work in Nilai. With the increase in petrol price, I got to start thinking about work place again, is it worth paying RM500-600 per month on the fuel?
I have been offered a place to study PhD in university of Malaya for the July intake, so hubby is saying to pursue my PhD, try to get a job with the university. Changes again. So many thought is going through my mind, to study or not to study? The thought of continuing the study is both exciting and scary. Exciting as it is always my dream to do a PhD, scary because I don't know if I have what it take to complete it!
I don't know how it is going to be if I have to work and study and having to have time for my two girls. As it is I already feel guilty of not being able to spent enuf time with my girls as a working mum. As a counselor, I heard lots of sad story about poor/bad family relationship, parents & children, husbands & wives..etc. Enough for me to alway keep a look up for my own relationship with my girls and husband. and that make me feel guilty sometime. Thoeritically, I know what should be done but sometime I just don't practice what I know 感觉有心无力. That's bad I know that's why I feel sorry for my girls sometime that I don't spend enough time with them and leave the maid to do thing for them.
Looks like I have to face more changes ahead of me!

One Year Seven months

So fast my Qi Yu is gonna be one year seven months old tommorrow. This little girl of mine is such a sweet heart. I just loves her.
Shae has grown taller and her has got more teeth now. She can speak quite well for her age. Many have commented that her words are very clear, even stranger can understand her sentence. She speaks in simple sentences nowadays. She will compete with her jie jie and learning the concept of "be number 1." She can sings lots of songs now. But she will not sing for you if she don't want to. She has a mind of her own.
Her favourite phases at the moment are "I don't want", "No", "Mummy Up". I loves to hear her speak and sing songs. Her voice is so soft and sweet, really will melt your heart especailly when she put her arm around me and say "i love you mummy". That really make my day.
One thing she dislike is ZZZZZZZZz. Each night, when is time to sleep, she would try to delay and fight to stay up as late as she can. She only goes to sleep at 10pm nowadays. Her afternoon nap often is cut down to one, only sometime she would take two naps.
Still quite a shy girl. When there is some people whom she is not very familiar, she would be very quiet and stick to me. Still would not let other people hold her except immediate family members.
Still loves to imitate her jiejie in whatever she does. Weight wise still pretty much the same but definitely grwon taller.
she is a sweet darling.

Best friends

Mummy always remind us to be each other's best friends and indeed we are. Just look at the fun that we have when we are together and the joy of just being sisters!

Bandung & Jakarta

Have been really busy for the past few weeks till I have no time to blog and blog hop. In the midst of the busy schedule, I managed to escape to Bandung & Jakarta for 6 days (30April-6May). It was indeed a welcomed escaped! Good thing I booked the holidays early in the year if not, this escape would not have taken place.
We went as a family and let the maid go back to her kampung. We stayed 1 night in Bandung then my friend send his driver to pick us up to Jakarta. We spent 4 nights with my freind Min and his family. He took us to the Sarafi in Puncak which was really good. Then we travel back to Bandung on our own and spent another night in Bandung before fly back.
Bandung is really a shopping heaven, even a none shopper like me likes shopping there. Wish I had spent 1 more day there to shop!
One not very good thing about this holidays is that we all have food poisoning of some sort. My two girls lost weight from the trip. Qi Ning started to vomit from the second day, hubby down with purging. Me and baby girl caught the germs on the last day and carry it back with us. Thank God we are all well now.
Will post some photos of the trip soon.

My girl is growing up fast!

Qi Yu turns 17 months two days ago. This little girl of mine is growing up so fast and brings so much joy to us. She is speaking so much nowadays and can speak a simple three or four words sentences. She just absorb everything she hears like a sponge and imitate what she hears. She loves to sing and can sing these songs "baa baa black sheep" "haleluya praise the Lord" Happy birthday" “我要依靠神” by herself.
Her favourite book at the moment is the "big bird" book. Everyday she would bring the book and ask me to read to her.
She is jie jie Qi Ning big time follower. Whatever the jie jie is doing she would follow suits and wnat to have what Qi Ning is having or doing. When Qi Ning sit on my laps, she would come around and push Qi Ning away or she would say "ecuse (excuse) me jie jie", fighting for mummy.
She still struggle with sitting on her car seat despite the fact that we put her on car seat since birth. She will try wiggle out of her car seat by requesting to nurse. Last week, when hubby was out of the country, I told her mummy have to drive the car and she has to sit in her car seat. She protest at first then subsquently she comply, murmuring to her self, "mummy drive car". So the few day when hubby was away, she sit in her car seat without a fuss. Now with hubby around, she starts protesting again, wanting to sit with mummy.
She is half way down the road of being toilet train. She goes diaperless during the day time. Sometime she would tell when she wants to pee but sometime she just forgot. She will definitely tells us when she want to poo. Only night time, she is still on diaper.
Not sure why her teeth has holes in some of them. took her to see dentist, dentist say nothing to be of concerm! Mummy reckon she lack cqalcium as she doesn't drink much milk during day time. She nurse through the night though.
Day by day my girl is growing and much joy she brings!